Pizza Delivery/transcript
This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Pizza Delivery" from season one, which aired on August 14, 2002. * Squidward: scene starts at the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob cleaning a table Hurry up with those chairs, SpongeBob. It's after closing and I'd like to go home! * rings * SpongeBob: I got it, I got it! Coming. for the phone but Squidward answers it first. SpongeBob falls to the floor * Squidward: Hello? Sorry, sir, we're close... Krabs snatches phone * Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, there, Krusty Krab. How could I help you? explains order over phone''Pizza? ''turn into dollar signs Um... Of course we have pizza. * Squidward: Uhh, Mr. Krabs... * Mr. Krabs: Our delivery squid will bring it right over. up * Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we don't serve pizza. Krabs gets a plate of Krabby patties and turns it into pizza. Then he puts it in a box We don't deliver. * Mr. Krabs: We don't deliver, Squidward the pizza but you do. * Squidward: Can't you just get SpongeBob to do it? * Mr. Krabs: Great idea! Take him with you.sneaks over smiling big * Squidward: That's not what I had in mind! * SpongeBob: Front end... check. Antenna... the boat antenna making it vibrate check. Bumper... check. Bumper sticker... sticker says "I Brake For Sea Urchins" ...check.the tire pressure and puts his mouth in it, causing him to inflate like a balloon, and talk in a squeaky, high pitched voice while he is now the size of a giant parade balloon Tire pressure!out the rest of the pressure in Squidward's face, returning him to his normal size and voice...check. Vehicle inspection complete! We're really making history here, Squidward. That lucky customer is going to get the first Krabby Patty Pizza ever! * Squidward: Good, then you drive. * SpongeBob: I can't. I'm still in Boating School. * Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob. It's just around the corner. * SpongeBob: Well, yeah, but... * Squidward: Just do what you do in school. * SpongeBob: Well, okay. Wait, don't tell me. * Squidward: Back it up. * SpongeBob: What? * Squidward: Back... it up. * SpongeBob: Right, back... it up. to move the stick shift down * Squidward: Back it up! * SpongeBob: Okay, okay. * Squidward: Shift into reverse, SpongeBob! * SpongeBob: Reverse? Oh, yeah, reverse. imagines the words "FORWARD" and "BACKWARD" turning into Korean characters, 앞으로가 (FORWARD) and 뒤로가 (BACKWARD) * Squidward: Back it up! * SpongeBob: gears Backing up! Backing up! backs up really fast * Squidward: to get the wheel No! SpongeBob! You did it wrong! Gimme the wheel, SpongeBob. Give me the wheel! Give me it! * SpongeBob: Backing up! Backing up! Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack-i-i-i-i-i-ng up! go over a bumpy area with rocks and then they spin around and around and around, screaming. The next morning, the boat goes over five hills Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. stops with no fuel left Backing up. * Squidward: Well... you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas. And you know what else? echoing We're in the middle of nowhere! * SpongeBob: And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold. * Squidward: And the pizza's cold? Oh, the pizza's cold. Not the pizza! Oh, how could it get any worse?! boat and the boat's gasoline becomes full again and it drives away into the distance without them * SpongeBob: Well, we can still deliver it on foot. narrows his eyes. Later, both walk on the sand * Squidward: Ow, ow, ow. * SpongeBob: singing The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza... * Squidward: ...And my feet are killing me. Whoa. over SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground SpongeBob? What are you doing? * SpongeBob: the ground It's an old pioneer trick. I saw it in a movie once. * Squidward: SpongeBob, this is no time for... * SpongeBob: Shh, shh, shh. It's working. * Squidward: What is it? * SpongeBob: to the road Truck! Sixteen wheels. Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked. dancing in the road while wearing a hat Whee... eee... sits on a rock while playing with a wooden spoon * Truck Driver: Crashin' frashin' break dancers! his truck * Squidward: He's stopping! He's stopping! realizes he's not stopping and grabs SpongeBob out of the way where they are covered in sand thanks to the truck. Squidward narrows his eyes at the smiling SpongeBob * SpongeBob: and Squidward are now in a place with heavy winds The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Krusty Krab pizza wind blows on Squidward's nose making it touch his face so he puts it down, only for it to touch his face again so he puts it in his mouth. is the pizza free delivery. The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza very ta-asty. gets carried around in the air by the huge winds * Squidward: Will you let go of that stupid pizza, already?! * SpongeBob: being carried around in the air I can't, it's for the customer! * Squidward: Well, who cares about the customer?! * SpongeBob: I do! * Squidward: Well, I don't! * SpongeBob: stops and SpongeBob gasps Squidward! flying again * Squidward: Let go of that pizza! * SpongeBob: No! over Squidward * Squidward: Ow. SpongeBob's legs SpongeBob, let go of that pizza! * SpongeBob: No! It's for the customer! * Squidward: SpongeBob! Let go of the pizza! up into the tornado * SpongeBob: No! * Squidward: SpongeBob! down Hang onto the pizza! spits them both out. SpongeBob uses the pizza as a parachute but Squidward falls hard onto the ground Hey! Hey!up to the screen Where's the road? Where's the road? tumbleweed rolls by We're doomed! How are we gonna get home, which way do we go? lands What are we gonna do now! There's no road here! * SpongeBob: I think town's this way. points * Squidward: Oh, don't tell me, Jethro. The pioneers? * SpongeBob: That's right. to a mossy rock Moss always points to civilization. * Squidward: That way? That way there? nods So, let me get this straight... you think that we should go that way? * SpongeBob: again Yep. * Squidward: Well, then I'm going this way. the other way * SpongeBob: Huh? Squid, wait! I don't think... * Squidward: Trust me, I know where I'm going. out to show another city in the other direction * SpongeBob: sings The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza, absolutivally. later pizza... beatboxing pizza... SpongeBob is walking backwards. SpongeBob's pants almost split into two and move up and down simultaneously while he continues to beatbox. Still later Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza, yeah, for you and falsetto me! later Krab Pizza... for you. Krus... the Krusshy and the... Krab and the... pizza inside. they are both lying face down in the sand * Squidward: Sponge, we gotta eat something. * SpongeBob: I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. eats some coral No, maybe it wasn't coral. spits out the coral Maybe it was sand, no, no, mud. * Squidward: Give me the pizza! * SpongeBob: Wait, I remember now. It was coral! * Squidward: Give it to me! * SpongeBob: No, we promised it's for the customer. * Squidward: music plays You're right. It's for the customer. * SpongeBob: Yeah! * Squidward: Maybe we better check on it, make sure it's okay. * SpongeBob: Well? * Squidward: Just a peek. box * SpongeBob: shuts it quickly Okay, it's fine. * Squidward: No, I think I saw something. box Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. Sure is a fine-looking pizza. * SpongeBob: Yeah. * Squidward: What's that? Is that the cheese? * SpongeBob: Yeah! * Squidward: And the pepperoni? * SpongeBob: Yeah! * Squidward: slurps Oh, looks good, huh? * SpongeBob: Come on, I don't care what you're trying to do, Squidward. box What did you do to the pizza! * Squidward: Give me the pizza! * SpongeBob: Fine! * Squidward: Don't make me take it away from you, Mr. Squarepants! * SpongeBob: Get away! * Squidward: SpongeBob Get back here, SpongeBob, give me the pizza! * SpongeBob: No! * Squidward: SpongeBob! * SpongeBob: No! * Squidward: SpongeBob! * SpongeBob: No! * Squidward: Wait! becomes too tired to run * SpongeBob: No! No! into Squidward * Squidward: I want that pizza and you're gonna hand it over one way or another! * SpongeBob: Look, we're saved! * Squidward: Sure, we're saved. Now give me some pizza! * SpongeBob: No, really Squid, we're saved! We're saved! We're saved! jumps in and out of his pants * Squidward: Will you cut that out?! * SpongeBob: a conga beat Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! himself apart then the two parts go in circles and then they connect again. SpongeBob starts doing a conga dance Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, we are saved! * Squidward: That's just a stupid boulder! * SpongeBob: It's not just a boulder. sniff It's a rock. cries A rock! A rock! Its a big beautiful, old rock. up it and rubs it Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape. * Squidward: SpongeBob, will you forget the stupid pioneers?! Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral and took directions from algae! And now, you're telling me they thought they could drive... runs over Squidward with the boulder ...rocks? Hold on there, Jethro! * SpongeBob: stop outside the customer's house I can't wait to see the look on our customer’s face! doorbell * Tom: Yeah? * SpongeBob: Congratulations, sir. Your Krabby Patty pizza is here! * Tom: Wow, thank you, sir! I've been dying for one of these. It you see... pause Where's my drink? * SpongeBob: confused What drink? * Tom: an angry tone My drink? But I didn't tell me you, limit? Don't care me you forgot my diet Dr. Kelp! * SpongeBob: through the order But, you didn't order any... * Tom: yelling How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my diet Dr. Kelp?! * SpongeBob: Yes... yes... start rolling down his face * Tom: Didn't you ever once think of the customer?! the pizza at SpongeBob's face You call yourself a delivery boy?! Well, I'all find it! the door. SpongeBob goes over to Squidward, smiling and trying not to cry * Squidward: Sponge? Sponge? It's okay. Sponge? drops the pizza, falls over, starts sobbing, and absorbs his tears over and over Sponge? gets angry, grabs the pizza, stomps towards the customer's house and pounds on the door * Tom: the door, still angry Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't paying for that! * Squidward: point of view Well, this one's on the house! the pizza box in Tom's face * SpongeBob: crying Did he change his mind? * Squidward: smugly He sure did. Ate the whole thing in one bite. * SpongeBob: crying No drink? * Squidward: Nah. Now take me home. up on the rock * SpongeBob: Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to work. up the rock where they are instantly at the Krusty Krab * Squidward: Work? cuts to black Oh, my aching tentacles! Category:Transcripts